It was when I was in grade school when I realized my passion for music, Growing up in a family whose parents are deeply involved in the church, I found myself attending the “Music Team” practice every Saturday and the Prayer Meeting every Friday. Our family was kind of important in the church because my father was one of the Pastors and my mother sometimes leads the congregation into the praise and worship.
During every practice, I sat there in a corner with my pen and notepad, scribbling poems, sketching unknown shapes, and humming to what they’re singing. I used to think that music was created solely for worshiping God, I still think that way, but as the years passed by, I realized that music was also created by God to help us find ourselves within us.
It doesn’t just exist because it entertains us.
When we play the music, we let a part of us swaying, dancing with it. We have offered a piece of unshared emotions to it. Anger, Happiness, Excitement, Loneliness- Everything.
It appeals to us just as much as how a mother caresses her child whenever he’s at lost. She cradles us, whispering sweet nothings into our ears, and singing lullabies to calm us down. She offers stories of her past experiences about what you’re experiencing at the moment.
Anything for her love. Anything for someone who’s close to her heart.
Whenever we find ourselves staring into nothingness, music opens many questions about your sole existence in the earth.
It would ask you,
“Are you worth saving for?”, “Am I going to reach whatever dreams I have in mind?”, or “Am I going to be just an employed citizen behind the counters?”
These questions will help you decide for yourself. It offers chances. The question is, will you take it? It’s a question between freedom and caged dreams.
Beyond the exterior of this temporary body, we’re all just skeletons walking around, wandering and picking up weapons to defend ourselves. As for myself, I found refuge with my pen and guitar. They held my head up against the waves of bygones and premonitions.
On my second grade, I –being newly transferred from another school– felt insecure and unconfident about myself. I’ve got no friends and no familiar teachers to begin with, obviously. As dramatic as it is, a paper flew in front of me, nearly smacking right in the face. It was when I was waiting for my school service driver. Written there on the paper, “Enroll Now! Piano Lessons offered! For inquiries, call this and that~” It intrigued me. It was an open invitation for students to become famous in our school. Fame would mean, a lot of friends and teachers would recognize me. So the following day, I asked my mother if there’s a chance that I could join in the program. She approved of it and there’s the beginning of my adventure.
Three years passed, we’ve already had a lot of recitals, musical extravaganzas, and even one event that was held in SM Cinema! That was the grandest day of my fame as a child. I got what I wanted. Maybe my so-called ‘passion’ for music started in a wrong way but it got me into track. Looking back to these memories, I’ve realized that I didn’t really absorbed all the piano lessons that my mentor gave me. Maybe, it was because I am not meant to be as a pianist.
Nowadays, I’m keeping a notebook full of poems and songs that, hopefully, will be published and recorded in the near future. I wish to make a dent on anyone or even in the history. We wouldn’t know if I wouldn’t try.